Carvana's Buying Up CDJR Dealerships? What Fresh Hell Is This?
Carvana buying Chrysler-Dodge-Jeep-Ram dealerships? Seriously? Are we that desperate for a new punchline to this never-ending clown show we call the "automotive industry"?
First, it was the whole "vending machine" gimmick – a monument to overpromising and underdelivering. Then, the used car market went completely bonkers, and Carvana was right there to ride the wave straight into a mountain of debt and legal trouble. I mean, who could forget the license suspensions and lawsuits? Good times.
Now, after all that… they're dipping their toes into the new car market with CDJR franchises?
The Stellantis Connection: A Match Made in… Purgatory?
Okay, let’s be real. Carvana Is Slowly Becoming a Chrysler-Dodge-Jeep-Ram Chain for Some Reason mentions that Carvana bought these dealerships because they were "available." Translation: nobody else wanted them. And they're both Stellantis dealers... which, let's be honest, ain't exactly a sign of thriving business in today's market. Is this some kind of weird "rescue mission" orchestrated by Stellantis? Or is Carvana just that clueless?
The company line is that it’s a "small test in a single market," and they're "in the very early days of testing as a franchise dealer." Right. Just like that time my uncle said he was "just experimenting" with that weird kombucha brewing setup in his garage. We all know how that ended.
And speaking of experiments, what is it with these companies and their obsession with Arizona and Texas? Is it just cheaper to operate there? Are the regulations more lax? Or do they just like the scenery? I mean, I get Texas...everything is bigger there...but Arizona?
Paperwork Nightmares and Brick-and-Mortar Realities
Remember Carvana's biggest screw-up? The paperwork debacles? Customers driving around in limbo because Carvana couldn't handle the title transfers? Now they're adding the complexity of new car sales to that already broken system? This is a bad idea. No, "bad" doesn't cover it—this is a five-alarm dumpster fire.
The article suggests that "a little brick-and-mortar experience would indeed do the company some good." Maybe. Or maybe it'll just expose their incompetence on a whole new level. At least online, you can hide behind a website. In a dealership, you have to face angry customers in person. Good luck with that, Carvana.
I'm sorry, but color me skeptical.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe Carvana's cracked the code and they're about to revolutionize the car-buying experience. Maybe pigs will fly, and I'll win the lottery.
Nino Sita: A Glimmer of Hope? Or Just Another Cog?
Okay, shifting gears… There's this other article about Nino Sita, a general manager at Lindsay Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram, turning things around with a "one-team philosophy." He apparently drove new car sales up 196% year-over-year. And they are number one in CPO in the region.
He credits weekly cross-departmental meetings and complete transparency. They even do cash blasts for the parts and service advisors. Cash blasts, huh? Sounds… intense. Like a morale-boosting rave, but with wrenches and oil filters instead of glowsticks.
And the guy acquired 72 cars himself last month. I mean, good for him, I guess. But does any of this really matter in the grand scheme of things? Is this just a feel-good story to distract us from the impending doom of the automotive industry? Probably.
He says, "If you want to buy a supercharged Hemi, I'm the guy to come to." Alright, Nino. Settle down there, buddy.
This is Just the Beginning of the End.
Carvana buying CDJR dealerships? Nino Sita's "one-team philosophy"? It's all just noise. The auto industry is a mess, and these are just desperate attempts to stay afloat. I don't see any way for Carvana to pull this off without a major overhaul of their entire business model. And even then, it's a long shot. Frankly, I'm not holding my breath.
